#26 — Vanek! with a Jurco
Jul. 12th, 2016 04:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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dekedangle_rpfanonThis is the twenty-sixth post of Deke Dangle RPF Anon, a community for all your ice hockey anon meme needs.
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THE RULES
1. Mods retain the right to delete, freeze, and/or screen threads and comments.
2. Meme rules do not require warnings.
3. Respect flock. Do not repost or share information from private tumblrs, locked twitter accounts, flocked LJ posts, etc.
4. No linking fans to their real life identities.
5. No looks bashing or body shaming. This applies to players and people associated with those players and their clubs, as well as fellow fans.
6. No embedded music.
7. No embedded images.
8. No spamming the meme, whether through repeated comments or other means.
9. No discussing trolling, individual trolls, or their efforts.
Meme rules do not require spoiler cuts. However, this layout does allow for them. Any of the following tags will create a spoiler cut when closed: <div cut>, <span cut>, <font cut>, <font color="white">
If you have any questions or concerns, please direct them to The Mod Post.
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Re: Game day thread 11 Sept 2016
From: (Anonymous)Re: Game day thread 11 Sept 2016
From: (Anonymous)Re: Game day thread 11 Sept 2016
From: (Anonymous)Fun things?? I don't really know anything Wings related beyond Dylan Larkin, Babs once upon a time, Lindstrom, Shanny and that they sing along with Journey in the third period.
As a team they've always seemed kind of old?? Which prob has to do with the great teams of the 90's and those years being my formative hockey years.
Re: Game day thread 11 Sept 2016
From: (Anonymous)SWEDEN HOUSE MAFIA
We don't have as many Swedes as we used to, but the ones we have left are pretty close-knit.
Henrik Zetterberg (http://delroccofloors.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/henrik-zetterberg-hair-0210c47c16724842fc85fa28bc8d6c01.jpg) and Niklas Kronwall (https://facetimebaby.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/niklas-kronwall-1.jpg) have known each other since they were teens (http://www.wxyz.com/sports/hockey/red-wings/lockout-holds-back-new-era-of-red-wings-hockey#Lockout%20holds%20back%20new%20era%20of%20Red%20Wings%20hockey). They still act like it around each other (http://kronner55-is-babe.tumblr.com/post/133834370073/paradoxicalintentions-okay-this-is-too-cute), which is pretty hilarious, considering they're our captain and alternate captain.
Johan Franzen (http://sports.cbsimg.net/images/nhl/blog/013014_franzen.jpg) (aka Mule) is LTIRetired, but is still living in Detroit, being everyone's crazy uncle. His instagram (https://www.instagram.com/jfranzen93/) is about 50% his kids, 45% trolling his friends on the Wings, and 5% trolling retired Wings.
Gustav Nyquist (https://circlingthewagon.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/gustav-nyquist.jpg) is the youngest of our Swedes, and is treated like everyone's annoying younger brother. Kronwall and Franzen worked together to troll him (https://www.instagram.com/p/-4yz-sw-VQ/) last season. Twice (https://www.instagram.com/p/BBsXrJWw-b8/). Zetterberg, being the low-key troll that he is, told a Swedish magazine Nyquist's nickname on the team is Lille Skutt (http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/bamsepedia/images/6/66/Lille_skutt.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20090602214014&path-prefix=got), aka the crybaby sidekick to a popular Swedish cartoon (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bamse) character. It's actually Nike, which is way less fun, but the fans know him as Goose. The Goose is loose about twice a season, but when he is, he is so fun to watch (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZApUqhRnmWk).
Jonathan Ericsson (http://cdn.c.photoshelter.com/img-get/I0000s.RvcOHgCto/s/750/750/Jonathan-Ericsson.jpg) is...big. That's about the only nice thing I can say about him. He was a forward who was converted to a defenseman, and it often looks like he's still learning positioning. He was supposed to be our answer to Mike Green, but he's just not. Kronwall spends half of his time picking up after Ericsson's mistakes. He could be a serviceable bottom 2 D, but we're reaaaally thin on the blue line.
EUROTWINS 2.0
Zetterberg and Datsyuk used to be called the Eurotwins when they played together, and were our main powerhouse. Datsyuk is gone, and Zetterberg is...well, he was never fast, but we probably shouldn't lean on him as hard as we do. Two playoffs ago, Nyquist and Tomas Tatar came blazing out of our AHL team looking like a young Zetterberg and Datsyuk. That turned out to be a flash in the pan, but there are still some fans who are hoping for a return of the glory days who will refer to them as the new Eurotwins.
CZECHOSLOVAKIA 2.0
This time without the secret police and human rights violations. We have a Czech and Slovak knitting circle, led by Tomas Tatar (see Eurotwins 2.0) and Petr Mrazek, our starting goalie. Mrazek is Czech and Tatar is Slovak, but there's enough overlap and familiarity between the two languages that they don't need English to communicate. It was so bad, our Vice President once thanked them for switching to English during a formal team dinner. Other members of the circle include Tomas Jurco, Ondrej Nestrasil(who is now with the Hurricanes), Tomas Nosek on our AHL affiliate the Griffins, and Riley Sheahan, an Ontario boy, because both Jurco and Tatar love him. They're also friends with other young Czechs and Slovaks during the off-season, including Ondrej Palat of the Lightning.
Tomas Tatar (http://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0366/8617/products/Tomas-Tatar-Tatar-Me-tshirt-grey_af92b770-27f6-4650-81dc-0e20d2e83a67.jpg?v=1463773031) is one of our thousands (it seems) speedy, undersized forwards. He plays bigger than his size, but it's not a Wings game if Tats hasn't been sat on by an opponent. Other than that, he's pretty fun to watch. There are two (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDGdwewV3lg) GoPro After Dark videos (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWjq1Yqj4MU) on him.
Petr Mrazek (https://www.instagram.com/p/BIao_Prg4KR) is love, Mrazek is life. He pretty much single-handedly made sure we weren't swept in the playoffs two years in a row, and before he was injured and sick mid-February, he was putting up Lundqvist numbers. Also, he is basically a giant puppy (http://so-hockey-eh.tumblr.com/post/134374060819/happy-goalie-celly), if a little twitchy. I swear, he's friends with all of the league's young Czechs and half of the Slovaks. There is a "Mrazek loves puppies (https://twitter.com/hockeygods/status/593527218027921409)" meme going around, and he likes it so much he will have it on his mask (https://twitter.com/DetroitRedWings/status/771044725570801664) (which will hopefully replace that godawful Peter Griffin theme).
Tomas Jurco (http://www2.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Tomas+Jurco+2011+NHL+Entry+Draft+Portraits+gNnRY63Nwaql.jpg) has great hands (http://video.redwings.nhl.com/videocenter/console?id=629026) and shifty feet, but swings between looking like Datsyuk lite on the ice and being a possession blackhole. As a result, he rides pine most nights. One day, though, he might grow up to be as cool as his sister, Petra Jurcova (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Petra_Jur%C4%8Dov%C3%A1).
TEAM GRIFFINS
The Wings overdeveloped their prospects under Babcock, which is why they look so old. Blashill, who was our coach for the Griffins before he became the Wings coach, promised to change up the old guard--which is why Larkin was brought up in training camp, because he did well for the Griffins during their playoff run. Most of our North Americans are in this clique, but Jurco likes hanging out with Sheahan, and Tatar likes hanging out with Brendan Smith, there's a blur between this group and our Czechs & Slovaks.
Riley Sheahan (https://www.instagram.com/p/BDPHntZoxOP/) is best known, if his name sounds familiar at all, for once dressing up as the purple Teletubby (http://www.mlive.com/griffins/index.ssf/2012/11/red_wings_prospect_riley_sheah.html) and getting himself a DUI...while trying to pass off teammate Brendan Smith's driver's license as his own, because he was underage. Yeah, that happened. In his defense, it was Halloween during the lockout. However, he'd been arrested for excessive drinking in public a number of times before then, so it's not as cute as it sounds. However, someone (who sounded exactly like Blashill) scared him so straight he went straight edge. Seriously, he hasn't drank since. He does, however, volunteer at the Humane Society (http://www.michiganhumane.org/about/news/rileys-rescues-program.html), went on a prom date (http://www.mlive.com/redwings/index.ssf/2016/05/red_wings_riley_sheahan_makes.html) with a cancer victim, and bought a house with Luke Glendening. He still likes dressing up, though. Nowadays, his Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/rsheahan15/) is about 40% his dog, 20% guns and 40% Dylan Larkin. One the ice, he's a good defensive center, a real plumber, except for that month from March to about mid-April last season when Blashill hypnotized him into forgetting that fact, and he scored ALL the goals on a line with Tatar and Jurco.
Luke Glendening (http://a.fssta.com/content/dam/fsdigital/RSN/Detroit/2015/12/22/pi-wings-luke-glendening-122215.vresize.1200.675.high.71.jpg), Sheahan's housemate, has pretty much taken over dishing out hits (https://streamable.com/s7ig) for Kronwall. He also has resting murder face, and has a habit of following Sheahan around and looking offended for him. It's hilarious. I think his only online presence is Twitter, where he insists on typing IN ALL CAPS (https://twitter.com/GLENDENlNG/status/590934511594164224). ALL THE TIME. I can't tell if he's yelling at his screen or just typing like an old person.
Dylan Larkin (https://www.instagram.com/p/BDuT-zNR3_Q) lived with Sheahan and Glendening last season, but I don't know what the situation is going to be this upcoming season. He's newsworthy because he's the first teenager on the Wings in over fifteen years. He got the job b/c he was fantastic in the Griffins playoffs before last season, but also b/c he has hockey sense way beyond his years, and is responsible defensively, which is something the Wings take really seriously. There were times last season I wanted to reach through my screen, shake Jurco and go, "LOOK. JUST LOOK AT THIS KID.THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU'RE NOT GETTING MINUTES."
For all the hullaboo about Larkin's speed, he's not even the fastest skater on his team. Darren Helm (https://i.ytimg.com/vi/x10iaL746R8/maxresdefault.jpg) is definitely faster. Babcock used to call him "Danger" because he was a threat...to both teams on the ice. He no longer has awful possession numbers--in fact, he's a key part of our PK, but he still has goddamn stone hands. Being a Wings fan means you hear "Helm shoots, and it just misses the net!" multiple times a night (that was like ten feet wide, Mickey! Call a spade a spade). He also dressed up as Todd Bertuzzi (http://video.redwings.nhl.com/videocenter/console?id=81004) that one Halloween.
Another speedster who might be even faster than Helm is Andreas Athanasiou (https://www.instagram.com/p/BID7eUxjCGm). It rhymes wih Happy-to-see-you, which is something Double A has to remind every new reporter. Fans call him Helm with Hands, which pretty much tells you all you need to know. Announcers have taken to calling him Greece Lightning (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vj5qGKKB0gI). Both Blashill and our GM Ken Holland have confirmed he's not getting called up this coming season, but a girl can dream.
Everyone loves Brendan Smith (http://media-cache-ec4.pinimg.com/736x/b7/4e/17/b74e170e783b04830bac64a312165029.jpg)--fans, teammates...not management for some reason. We're low on serviceable defensemen, but Smith is frequently a healthy scratch, but when he's not, he puts up great defensive numbers. Helm loves him, Tatar loves him, Glendening has been seen Smith's clothes more than once, and he was the one who enabled Sheahan's Teletubby moment.
There's a reason why Justin Abdelkader (https://cbsdetroit.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/88076715.jpg)'s name is so far down this list. I get it, he's a shit-disturber. But when your only fighters are Tatar (with mixed results), Smith (in the pressbox) and, like, Ericsson once in a blue moon, someone's got to step up to the plate when someone punches Zetterberg in the head again. Also, he's a great guy on the team and off the ice. I'm actually waiting to see if they're going to give Datsyuk's A to him.
Drew Miller (http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lmdwftPKeN1qjcvquo1_500.jpg)'s our one and only Silver Fox. He's Ryan Miller's younger brother, which is something we get in a GDT practically every game he plays. He's a huge heart-and-soul guy, but not someone the stats guys love. He's currently out with a knee injury, with no hard timeline on when he's going to be back.
Danny DeKeyser (https://twitter.com/AnsarKhanMLive/status/631505021360820224) is going to be the future of our D. He's not as flashy as Mike Green, but he's a solid shutdown D. Other than that, he's a good Michigan boy, gives boring interviews, and doesn't have much of an online presence.
Jimmy Howard (http://blog.finnohara.com/wp-content/uploads/Capture-13_flat2.jpg)'s technically part of this group, but uh, I don't watch many interviews of him. Have you seen his serial killer eyes (http://assets.ngin.com/attachments/profiles/3068/2834/Howard-Jimmy-2013.jpg)? Goalies are weird, man. He's also the Wings only All-Star goalie, so he's got that going for him, I guess. (No, really, he's a good starter. He's just not one of the elite anymore)
OTHER PEOPLE
Capitals fans probably know a lot more about Mike Green (https://www.instagram.com/p/BDaxzAJELR7/). He's been used as a fourth forward here in Detroit more than anything, and has been keeping quiet off the ice, probably busy with his new house and new baby.
Alexey Marchenko (http://media.mlive.com/redwings_impact/photo/14032988-large.jpg) is our only Russian left :( He's pretty quiet online and in the locker room, so I honestly don't know much about him.
I keep feeling like we're going to lose Teemu Pulkkinen (http://down0.80157-down0.dna.qbrick.com/80157-down0/thumbs/16/559681_467197_large.jpg) to waivers. Our GM doesn't like to make trades, but Pulkkinnen's game seems much better suited to the A. He's got a cannon of a shot, but there's not enough space and time in the NHL for him to get off the Pulcannon. (Being a Wings fan also means you hear a lot of "Pulkinnen shoots! And it goes high and wide into the glass!" a night)
We have a number of good prospects marinating in the AHL, but this is getting ridiculously long (sorry!), so we'll gloss over them.
Frans Nielsen, Thomas Vanek, and whoever else we call up during training camp is new, so you know them about as well as I do.
Re: Game day thread 11 Sept 2016
From: (Anonymous)Would you mind describing the team's playing style a little?
Re: Game day thread 11 Sept 2016
From: (Anonymous)The Wings are old and small on average, so they try to play a skills game. However, they did put together a grind line of Glendening-Sheahan-Abdelkader during the only playoff game they won last season, so that might happen again this year. Our top two centers are for sure going to be Frans Nielsen and Dylan Larkin, but after Datsyuk left, just about everything else is up in the air.
Re: Game day thread 11 Sept 2016
From: (Anonymous)Re: Game day thread 11 Sept 2016
From: (Anonymous)Re: Game day thread 11 Sept 2016
From: (Anonymous)Re: Game day thread 11 Sept 2016
From: (Anonymous)Oh for sure. And his voice is so damn soothing too