i'm a cis woman, i have a friend who's non-binary, and basically i tend to treat non-binary and varying "it's complicated" IDs as "okay, i'm not going to get this entirely for roughly the same reasons i'm never going to know what it's like to be black (i'm white and look it), but that doesn't mean i can't learn enough to have SOME idea how it feels for people in those shoes and minimize the amount of uneducated and/or hurtful shit i say". (let's just say i've gotten better on at least trying to word stuff as inclusively as possible over the last few years, in particular.)

basically, it's entirely possible that you WON'T ever completely understand, but that doesn't make you a horrible human being or anything, it just means that this may be a thing you sort of have to take on faith. (i occasionally want to rant "GENDER (or lack thereof) DOES NOT EQUAL PRESENTATION" because people frequently conflate them, and they are *not the same*.)

(i suspect amab masculine-presenting people probably have their own set of issues, but i am SUPER non-qualified to talk about them and don't have any good links offhand that you couldn't google yourself.)