#29 – Lay, Lie, or Laine?

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This is the twenty-ninth post of Deke Dangle RPF Anon, a community for all your ice hockey anon meme needs.

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Re: Discussion Thread

[(Anonymous)]

It's interesting, because I've been thinking about this too. As a gay woman, I actively had to work on removing misogynistic slurs from my vocabulary. Homophobic ones? Not so much.

I think it's a little bit of saturation, but I also think there's a level of... terror associated with homophobia and hypermasculinity. This is NOT me trying to play oppression olympics or claim that women aren't violently harmed by misogyny. But sports players talking about bitches and pussies don't strike me in the heart as an imminent danger. Hearing straight men say cocksucker and faggot triggers an immediate fear for me; they view gay men with contempt, they see them as a threat to their masculinity, what would they do if someone close to them came out? What would they do if a gay kid hit on them? And with group beatings of LGBT+ folks being pretty common, hearing that sort of sentiment in a hypermasculine environment, surrounded by men who likely think the same way, frightens me.

It might not be rational or reasonable, but a guy saying "pussy" makes me think he's immature; a guy saying "fag" or "cocksucker" is an indicator of potential violence.

Re: Discussion Thread

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

I agree with basically everything you said, honestly. There is a much greater degree of terror associated with homophobia for me than there is with misogyny, even though I'm a target of both, and I'm more directly the target of misogynistic language than I am of the type of homophobic language that is derogatory specifically to gay men. Which is kind of weird when I think about it, because men devaluing and dehumanizing women are probably just as much if not more of a direct threat to me. (Though of course there's the intersection - a lot of homophobia has roots in misogyny.) So I think to an extent it does go back to saturation - not just words, but types of violence. A guy saying "fag" or "cocksucker" is an indicator of potential violence to me no matter where it happens or who it's directed at; a guy saying "bitch" is only an indicator of potential violence to me if he's saying it to or about a woman.