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This is the eleventh post of Deke Dangle RPF Anon, a community for all your ice hockey anon meme needs.

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Re: Player Lives and Random Gossip

From: (Anonymous)
da
From my knowledge of what I've heard - the common arrangement seems to be - well, I can't stop him from going out and cheating, but I'm his main girlfriend, and I'm the one he admits to publicly. In return, they get a lot of carte blanche in deciding how things are going to be run at home, and the spending money to do it, and, most importantly, the promise that when the career's done, the cheating stops. This is for the women that know about the cheating, and tolerate it.
The pro athletes I've talked to, including hockey players, do not tolerate the same behavior from their partners.
The difference is that usually these guys only do it when they're away on the road, so the partner doesn't have to deal with it in her face, or to make sure she doesn't find out.

Re: Player Lives and Random Gossip

From: (Anonymous)
Well, good to hear that there's a little give-and-take going on, as opposed to just being one-sided.

I do remember hearing one anecdote about a certain basketballer and his wife's arrangement, where she'd give him specific permissions (e.g. allowed him two hook-ups of his choice during this stretch of road games, and so on) that would expand and contract with how they felt their relationship/career/general life was going on at the time. Not the sort of thing that would be decided during fights, but rather talking it out and making changes as fit. I thought that seemed a pretty tolerable compromise, as it gave her at least some power and control over his actions.

Re: Player Lives and Random Gossip

From: (Anonymous)
You know, personally, I think my biggest issue with this would be the health risk. You're going out and hooking up on the regular, and yet we don't use condoms because babies? Yeah, fuck that shit.

Re: Player Lives and Random Gossip

From: (Anonymous)
na

oh god i didn't even think of that and i'm cringing so hard

Re: Player Lives and Random Gossip

From: (Anonymous)
Eh, my assumption is professional athletes are probably going to be pretty stringent about safe sex in the hook-ups they have - not so much for STIs but because the chance of babies with the hook-up generally come with a paternity suit and child support.

Re: Player Lives and Random Gossip

From: (Anonymous)
I thought about that, but I kind of figured that they'd at least be responsible enough to use condoms and get some testing done regularly since they have the money for it.

Re: Player Lives and Random Gossip

From: (Anonymous)
da

I remember an interview with a retired player who was talking about how a lot of divorces occur after the player's career is over because the wife finally thinks that the cheating is going to stop (and because for the first time they actually are spending all their time together!), but it doesn't. I suppose there is a limit to what wives are willing to tolerate.

Re: Player Lives and Random Gossip

From: (Anonymous)
Marek attributes the post-retirement divorces to the couple having spent their entire adult lives in one routine and now suddenly he's home all the time and it's a tough transition. Also that the players themselves feel a bit lost/depressed after losing the strict hockey regimen and brotherhood and that can affect the marriage. The infidelity could also be an issue, but I doubt it's the main one.

Re: Player Lives and Random Gossip

From: (Anonymous)
Yeah, a lot of people who aren't athletes but who can afford to retire end up getting divorced too. I mean, there's a reason that retirement communities have so many mixers for single people in their 60s and 70s, and it isn't just widows.

Re: Player Lives and Random Gossip

From: (Anonymous)
The same issue occurs in the older population in Japan. In fact, it is now referred to as "Retired Husband Syndrome."

Re: Player Lives and Random Gossip

From: (Anonymous)
"Retired husband syndrome (主人在宅ストレス症候群 Shujin Zaitaku Sutoresu Shoukougun?, literally One's Husband Being at Home Stress Syndrome)" -wiki

I love it

Re: Player Lives and Random Gossip

From: (Anonymous)
One of the nicknames is cockroach husband syndrome - i.e. suddenly constant underfoot.