#26 — Vanek! with a Jurco

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This is the twenty-sixth post of Deke Dangle RPF Anon, a community for all your ice hockey anon meme needs.

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Comments

Re: Fic Discussion - an island entire of itself

[(Anonymous)]

I kind of think fear of discovery fic would have to be crack (by which I mean goofily OTT), because realistically what's the worst that can happen if someone accuses you of being a werebeaver? It's not like people will believe them. I guess maybe I could see it as an established relationship thing, where you don't want to be so weird, you drive off the love of your life.

Re: Fic Discussion - an island entire of itself

[(Anonymous)]

NA But what if your love is really into tree preservation and you chewed up one of their special trees?

Re: Fic Discussion - an island entire of itself

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

That would work. :) Definitely more interesting in my opinion than remaking ET with a hockey player.

Re: Fic Discussion - an island entire of itself

[(Anonymous)]

Yes.
You wake up and realise that you have escaped the cellar you hide in during full moon. The sun is warm on your skin, but there is a strange taste in your mouth. When you lift you hand to your face your skin is sticky.

It's not fresh blood you realize, but sap. Drawn by your beaver instincts you have gone to your beloved's garden. There at your feet is their prized Japanese Maple, fallen from it's proud height by your animal savagery.

They must never find out. Not after the days they have spent feeding and watering the tree; the weeks of delicate pruning and their devoted care of their tree. You must get the wood chips off your face before they see you.

Your dentist however will be pleased as you have trashed your implants - again.

Re: Fic Discussion - an island entire of itself

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Kudos, nonny. Kudos.

Re: Fic Discussion - an island entire of itself

[(Anonymous)]

ILU nonnie ♥

Re: Fic Discussion - an island entire of itself

[(Anonymous)]

What if your love is secretly a dryad? O doomed, star-crossed romance!

Re: Fic Discussion - an island entire of itself

[(Anonymous)]

Ooh, yeah that would be a problem.

But do android were-beavers dream of electric trees?

Re: Fic Discussion - an island entire of itself

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

If you're in a world without known werebeavers, I think you probably wouldn't want everyone to know? I'm sure if someone really wanted, they could come up with proof, and then suddenly people are questioning whether you have special abilities/shouldn't play hockey or trying to hold you accountable for property damage or want to put you in a room and poke at you. And transforming into a beaver might not be the safest thing, if you're in area without beavers and people will think you escaped from a zoo or are an illegal pet or need rescue or you could get attacked by wild animals.

I just don't think you have to reach very far for "reasons a secret monster wouldn't want everyone to know he's a monster." Even if that monster transforms to go fell trees by moonlight. And you can basically create whatever beaver problems you want.

Re: Fic Discussion - an island entire of itself

[(Anonymous)]

Werebeavers would add another element to Canada initially being colonized for those sweet, sweet beaver furs.

Re: Fic Discussion - an island entire of itself

[(Anonymous)]

How so?

Re: Fic Discussion - an island entire of itself

[(Anonymous)]

I mean, you either don't want to be wearing a part-time human on your head, or you really, really do.

Re: Fic Discussion - an island entire of itself

[(Anonymous)]

What?

I mean, besides the fact that it doesn't follow from werebeavers that ALL beavers are werebeavers... we're still talking about this in the context of hypothetical hockey rpf fic, right? The idea that Canadian players are werebeavers? Not sure you want to be linking that to Canada's colonial history in the way that you seem to be...

Re: Fic Discussion - an island entire of itself

[(Anonymous)]

Jesus, you can suck the fun out of a light-hearted conversation fast. It ~should follow~ that since werewolf hunting and origin stories are, ya kno, pretty central to were-canon, that my comment really shouldn't have stretched your imagination to the breaking point.

But more than you needing to loosen up with your strict parameters of what exactly is being discussed, I really, truly do not need to be condescended at over the colonial implications of werebeavers. Unless you want to talk about why your view of hockey is so whitewashed that you can't think of any connections between hockey players in general and victims of colonialism.

Re: Fic Discussion - an island entire of itself

[(Anonymous)]

*shudder*

I imagine having to worry about being hunted for your pelt would be a serious issue, too. You definitely couldn't allow yourself outside during a full moon.

Re: Fic Discussion - an island entire of itself

[(Anonymous)]

strictly from a werebeaver worldbuilding standpoint, the near extinction of the eurasian beaver could have sent european werebeaver (scandanavian, maybe?) tribes to the new world to escape the terrible depredations of their species.

Re: Fic Discussion - an island entire of itself

[(Anonymous)]

And that would still be writing an AU version of real life history that centers Europeans as victims of colonialism. The idea of werebeavers being hunted is a creative twist on animal transformation! But... let's not intersect that with the history of colonialism.

Re: Fic Discussion - an island entire of itself

[(Anonymous)]

Well maybe there should be fic about a Canadian hockey player who really fucking hates Canada, and it turns out he is a hundreds-years-old werebeaver who has had to watch many of its brethren die.

I don't honestly know where one would go with this.

Re: Fic Discussion - an island entire of itself

[(Anonymous)]

He's gonna get revenge by throwing the men's Olympics, natch.

I mean, if you were going to avenge yourself against Canada, that wouldn't be the worst way.

Re: Fic Discussion - an island entire of itself

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Geez, just because someone is a werebeaver you call them a secret monster? Harsh.

I don't know if you have to reach very far as to why they wouldn't want people to know, but no, I don't believe someone could come up with proof if they really wanted to. Because people just aren't going to believe it. Got werebeaver DNA samples? Gene splicing. Got video of someone transforming? Special effects.

Re: Fic Discussion - an island entire of itself

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

Special effects wouldn't make sense, because they're expensive and this beaver transformation would have the best-looking CGI ever fucking done.

Maybe that's the real danger. Get caught on tape a werebeaver, and everyone wants to hire your SFX artist.

(Also, why would a hockey player have access to gene splicing? I think you'd just have to force the transformation with enough witnesseses.)

Re: Fic Discussion - an island entire of itself

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

There would definitely be people who would say the special effects weren't that good, especially since it'd be filmed on a iPhone or something.

Force the transformation with witnesses, and they're all famewhores lying to sell their money. Or mass hysteria. Or on drugs. Or it's a David Copperfield-style magic trick. Or it's an old stale joke and when are these "witnesses" going to give up the werebeaver thing already.

Be honest, nonny, If someone, right now, today, posted video proof on youtube that Crosby was a werebeaver, would you think "OMG, Crosby is a werebeaver" or would you think, "heh, funny gag, I wonder how the World Cup oif Hockey PR team came up with that idea and whose job it was to talk Crosby into filming it?"

Re: Fic Discussion - an island entire of itself

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

If I saw it on video, probably not. If I saw it with my own two eyes? That might be different. Also, if there were 50 iphone videos as well as an NBC broadcast, that would be a massive and very expensive prank to pull. And then you'd have experts verifying footage and sticking the werebeaver full of needles and observing him on the full moon.

also crosby could never be a werebeaver he is not awesome enough to build dams that literally change the landscape and provide water sources for other animals but are also waterproof inside and also to dig canals at the bottom of lakes that change waterflow patterns beavers are so cool

Re: Fic Discussion - an island entire of itself

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

And then you'd have experts verifying footage and sticking the werebeaver full of needles and observing him on the full moon.

No, you wouldn't. It's not like people tried to stick needles in David Copperfield after he made the statue of liberty disappear. And even if you have people trying to verify the footage, so what? Are you old enough to remember "Alien Autopsy: Fact or Fiction" airing on national television? But also, to return to the original point, that's so cliche and overdone. I still say the only way it would work to have secret government types wanting to poke a werebeaver with needles would be as goofy crack. Or as an established relationship fic, where you just personally don't want your lover to know for some reason. Like, say, your lover is a werebear and, as everyone knows, bears prey on beavers.

Who do you think *would* make a good werebeaver? I don't really get why Canada is associated with beavers anyway, since they're found all over the US, too.

Re: Fic Discussion - an island entire of itself

[(Anonymous)]

DA

Crosby is the right kind of finicky to get really persistent and precise about dam building imo. Maybe he goes out on full moons and tries to dam Pittsburgh's rivers.