dekedangle_rpfanon | #29 – Lay, Lie, or Laine?

This is the twenty-ninth post of Deke Dangle RPF Anon, a community for all your ice hockey anon meme needs.

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Meme, I am very conflicted about my team potentially getting Nolan Patrick. On one hand: he's really pretty, and also the Devils could use someone with a shot like that. On the other hand, there's a good chance—based on the direction fandom is gong in right now—that there will be an influx of badfic if the Devils do pick him.

Also, for pure hilarity purposes, I was scrolling through Adam Henrique's tumblr tag on the anniversary of his OT goal against the Rangers, and I found this:
https://mitchmarnersnohomopillow.tumblr.com/post/160282188712/me-opening-your-blog-lets-see-what-rarepair

Which then lead me to find this whole tag of headcanons/chatfic which is, honestly, spectacular in its sheer ridiculousness:
https://mitchmarnersnohomopillow.tumblr.com/tagged/bi-bi-bi

Like. WHAT. First of all, no hockey player on the planet thinks that virginity is "a construct invented by society to oppress women". Secondly, why does this person think that a teenager who looks like Nolan Patrick does isn't getting laid?

As a neutral fan in this case I'm a little excited for Nico/Nolan fic because they're both good looking and will end up relatively close to each other, in terms of NHL cities. But I'm wary that it will end up being written by the same people who write Marner/Matthews, which I find boring at best. It's a real risk these days!!

This is a goldmine but I lost it at:

"omfg I LOVE tumblr kid nolan. everyone think he's a sex pro because he always has a condom on hand and educates all the other rookies about safe sex and consent and STDs, but turns out he learned all of that from tumblr and nothing from real life."

I honestly think Nico is better for the system Hynes wants to play. But if they get Nolan It would be the most Devils-y thing to finally get fandom recognition but then for it to be mostly stuff like this.

I am very very excited for Nolan/Nico fic though. I am all about the idea of the Philly/NJ rivals or starcrossed lovers.

God, how am I not surprised by whose blog this is. ~Progressive tumblr fandom is so embarrassing.

What does "mitchmarnersnohomopillow" even mean? Is that a reference to something real?

SA

Er not real in the sense of that being a real thing because obviously not, but like a distorted reference to a comment he made or something.

At forst glance I assumed it referred to those anti-cuddling pillow barriers people use when they have to share a bed, but that's kind of the opposite of how Marner's homophobic streak manifests itself, so I'm as lost as you.

NA
Late reply, but that is exactly what it was. I don't have a link, but during the Leafs bye week Marner and Martin went on vacation together and one of their wives or girlfriends posted a photo of them napping together on a couch with a pillow placed strategically between dick and ass as they spoon.

AYRT

... I actually know what you're talking about. It was Carrick's girlfriend, but yeah. I'm guess the full snapchap showed it better?

http://68.media.tumblr.com/dc5c299cd98cc7dcff49a4b11e25ffb0/tumblr_inline_ojhksq03un1rxwg9g_1280.jpg

why does that person even have a separate rpf tumblr when they crosspost a bunch of their fic stuff to their main hockey tumblr anyway? also why can they not just use the same handle for tumblr and AO3? It's so tiresome to keep track of all their IDs for avoidance purposes.

(I realize that this is mostly a bitch eating crackers complaint, but it's the fandom venting thread so I'm gonna go ahead and be petty about it)

I'm feeling very vindicated that hockeyknowitall wrote that fic about 19 year old breakout star rookie for the Leafs, Matt Martin. Like, I already knew he was full of shit, but my mental shrine of pettiness is always looking for new additions.

How the FUCK do you call yourself "hockeyknowitall" and still write 19-year-old breakout star Leafs rookie Matt Martin?

(No hate for Martin either professionally or "moral high ground"-wise and I wouldn't mind seeing some *decent* fic with him, but about 95% of what I know about hockey is thanks to meme and my fandom buds and *I* know he's totally the wrong dude to pick for that role.)

Also, yes, so much WTF about Patrick, Marner, etc. The latest crew of Tumblr badfic/headcanon fails to rise even close to say, icehot SHINE ON YOU BADFIC DIAMOND quality imo.

Because he looks right for the part, actual history or chronological age be damned?

NA

You must be confusing him with someone else.

Ayrt, I don't think he looks right for the part but clearly this author does.

NA

I don't see what looks have to do with anything. No one is arguing that Matt Martin looks wrong for the role.

Parent up?

I miss icehot, she wrote the most wonderfully ott cracktastic stuff it was so fun to read

give me more henrique/hallsy fic before you add dumb threesomes in those two boys have so much untapped potential??

*now wants fic where they two are together and watching all the "rookie drama" fic writers fall over themselves to write but not wanting to touch it for anything

Deke Dangle RPF Anon

An Ice Hockey RPF Anon Meme

#29 – Lay, Lie, or Laine?

#29 – Lay, Lie, or Laine?

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