dekedangle_rpfanon | #24 – Not Sure If Serious or Playing Dumba

This is the twenty-fourth post of Deke Dangle RPF Anon, a community for all your ice hockey anon meme needs.

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I lol at anything that portrays Minnesota Nice as actually nice. Anyone who has actually lived there knows its actually Minnesota Polite and Passive-Agressive, with a heavy dose of Strong Emotions are only allowed in Private.

Now THAT is a Paul Martin I would read in a heartbeat.

sa

Actually, I'm going to expand that. I just need way more emotional constipation in this fandom, and I don't mean broning where guys are too busy being bros to notice they're in a gay relationship. I don't even really mean stuff dealing with internalized homophobia. I just have a weakness for guys who don't have feelings because Real Men Don't Do That, but then end up having them anyway in some traumatic fashion.

Six days later, I am CPing the hell out of this into my inspiration folder, because you've hit on some stuff that I am both super tired of (The Bros Who Don't Realize What's Going On) and that I want more of: guys without feelings, who actually do have them.

SO MANY of the guys I know just have this...gaping absence in their lives when it comes to talking about feelings. Particularly about their wives/significant others. They just don't do it. And women tend to share that stuff a lot more, so it shows up in fic: all these dudes talking about their feelings.

And don't get me wrong. I LOVE a good adult conversation that gets at the heart of the conflict between characters, but I'm ready to slam that Repress/Deny/Ignore button, too. Because having legitimately emotionally constipated guys HAVE to work through something that they otherwise just wouldn't would be really satisfying to read/write.

ayrt

I think part of it is that guys in hockey fic tend to pretty self-aware about their feelings, even if they don't dare talk about them, and I don't think that's always necessary or realistic characterization. Sometimes it doesn't even need to involve repress/ignore/deny on a conscious level because it's so instinctive.

Anyway, I am delighted to hear this, and I hope you find it a very inspirational line of thought! :)

I would read the shit out of Paul Martin being passive aggressive as fuck and Neal or Beau or whatever walking on eggshells whenever he says "hmm" in that particular tone of voice.

That's how it seems to me, as someone who isn't from there, but it always seems to be presented as Actually Nice in fic.

As someone who was born in Minnesota and lives in Seattle now. I absolutely think Minnesota Nice is actually nice. Or maybe a lot of the people who live in Seattle are just dicks. But every time I go home I'm struck by how much nicer/kinder/more helpful everyone is in Minnesota.

I mean, it is being helpful and kind? But it's also never trying to expand relationships with strangers past polite formalities and saying "well, that was different" meaning "I hated that with a passion" and having anything more than a single tear fall down your cheek at a relative's funeral be "making a scene".

Hahahha on the "that was different" thing. In Seattle we say "well that's interesting" which means "I want very strongly for you to never speak again"

I think probably part of me is bias since my Minnesota comes with my ridiculously outgoing family - which makes the stranger thing and the making a scene thing a moot point because we are all about a 20 minute conversation with the person who is bagging groceries and its not really dinner with my big family unless there's a fight about something and then a long discussion about the fight.

That said. If people would stop being so nice when allowing others to merge on the freeway. That'd be swell.

#24 – Not Sure If Serious or Playing Dumba

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