dekedangle_rpfanon | #24 – Not Sure If Serious or Playing Dumba

This is the twenty-fourth post of Deke Dangle RPF Anon, a community for all your ice hockey anon meme needs.

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jfc, I would feel kinda bad writing daddy kink about him because he's basically an actual child. Not because of his age or anything, but because his mom does his laundry for him and he still cuts his sandwiches into little triangles. good lord.

...sometimes I cut sandwiches into triangles. Or, well, quarters. And I always cut burgers into quarters. It makes them less messy to eat.

Triangles are less messy; but the laundry thing is true for too many people. (I'M LOOKING AT YOU, COLLEGE DUDES IN THE DORM HALLWAY, LOOKING CONFUSED AT THE LAUNDRY MACHINE.)

I had a friend who had me make his bed for the first semester before he got a hang of it. Love him dearly, but oh my god.

...if you can't figure out how to make your bed, you deserve to go to sleep in an unmade bed. Which I, as a grown-ass but lazy adult, do all the time anyway.

ayrt

I also thought it was a bit sad and gave him loads of shit for it, but, well, he bought me Starbucks. I'd do just about anything for a free mocha frappuccino.

na

And I had a friend freshman year who slept on a bare (plastic-covered) mattress every night with a blanket thrown over him, because he never washed his sheets.

I dated a guy for a while who had a roommate that didn't wash his sheets the entire school year.

We slept at my house a lot.

I had a friend like that. He was frequently punished with Febreze baths.

da

The year my roommate left in October and I didn't have a roommate the rest of the year was when I started sleeping naked, because I ran out of clean pjs and didn't want to do laundry.

#winner

da

(The washing machine says pull to start helpless dude, that's how you start it. It's not a lawnmower, there's no pull cord and it's not a car so there's no ignition. You turn the dial and pull. And then the real magic starts)

DA

Or, if it's a super advanced washing machine, it may have a button that just says start that you get to press!

Freshman year of college I saw a dude in the laundry room trying to put detergent in his machine, but it was one of those ones with the little drawer for detergent so you pour it in and then close the drawer and it disappears. So he poured his detergent in, closed the drawer, opened it again, looked aghast that his detergent was gone and...poured more in. And then repeated the same process all over again. I probably saw him do it about 5 times before I had to intervene. His poor clothes.

A freshman dude asked me which were the washers and which were the dryers. I hoped I was being punked but he was serious.

Freshman year of college I had to explain to two dudes who were hard science majors that a "table spoon" and a "tea spoon" were units of measure, not just random ass big and small spoons they randomly dug out of their kitchen drawer. They were trying to bake pie for Pi Day.

sa

And they were both American, so it wasn't a metric units issue, they just... didn't know.

Properly made flatware the big and small spoons should be the same as a teaspoon and tablespoon when leveled anyway.

My brother who lives across town bribed me to come over and do his laundry every weekend the first two months he lived on his own.

I've never understood why so many boys end up at colleges unable to do laundry. The absolute last thing I would want to do for a teenage boy, son or not, (wiped his baby bum or not, willing to wait on him hand and foot or not) is handle his dirty sheets and socks. That's a step too far into a realm of TMI that I would not be interested in taking.

I don't know why. It takes about ten minutes and a couple of tries to learn, and osmosis isn't going to cover it. Everyone at my house learned how to wash their own clothes at the very latest, twelve years old.

As soon as you were tall enough to load the machine, you could learn.

Even if you don't "learn" it, it's really intuitive?? The dial has settings that are self-explanatory? I don't really know how people could not get it.*

*Unless American washing machines are different from European ones in their difficulty level lol.

Logic tells me this should be true.

Actual experiences proved that for males of a certain age laundry is akin to actual rocket science.

I think people who grow up in households that like, actually separate their laundry think it's more complicated than it is. My family is the "throw it all in and hit the button" sort and my little brother definitely knows how to work the machine (he's 10).

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