#24 – Not Sure If Serious or Playing Dumba

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This is the twenty-fourth post of Deke Dangle RPF Anon, a community for all your ice hockey anon meme needs.

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Comments

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

NA

Gaudreau literally can't tell an eggplant and a plum apart. That is an actual thing that has really happened.

Nonnie I require proof of this.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

http://video.flames.nhl.com/videocenter/console?id=888541

@~1:09. He is confused by many a squash, as well. Josh Jooris also considers himself something of a father figure to "the little guy," for those of you out there who are into such things.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

DA

Aside from Gaudreau's confusion over vegetables, the thing that strikes me most in that video is how impersonal all of the decorating is. Boy can you tell that a decorator did that entire place, right down to the throw pillows.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Thanks! Thank you Flames TV.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

jfc, I would feel kinda bad writing daddy kink about him because he's basically an actual child. Not because of his age or anything, but because his mom does his laundry for him and he still cuts his sandwiches into little triangles. good lord.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

...sometimes I cut sandwiches into triangles. Or, well, quarters. And I always cut burgers into quarters. It makes them less messy to eat.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

Triangles are less messy; but the laundry thing is true for too many people. (I'M LOOKING AT YOU, COLLEGE DUDES IN THE DORM HALLWAY, LOOKING CONFUSED AT THE LAUNDRY MACHINE.)

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

I had a friend who had me make his bed for the first semester before he got a hang of it. Love him dearly, but oh my god.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

...if you can't figure out how to make your bed, you deserve to go to sleep in an unmade bed. Which I, as a grown-ass but lazy adult, do all the time anyway.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

na

And I had a friend freshman year who slept on a bare (plastic-covered) mattress every night with a blanket thrown over him, because he never washed his sheets.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

da

(The washing machine says pull to start helpless dude, that's how you start it. It's not a lawnmower, there's no pull cord and it's not a car so there's no ignition. You turn the dial and pull. And then the real magic starts)

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

DA

Or, if it's a super advanced washing machine, it may have a button that just says start that you get to press!

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

Freshman year of college I saw a dude in the laundry room trying to put detergent in his machine, but it was one of those ones with the little drawer for detergent so you pour it in and then close the drawer and it disappears. So he poured his detergent in, closed the drawer, opened it again, looked aghast that his detergent was gone and...poured more in. And then repeated the same process all over again. I probably saw him do it about 5 times before I had to intervene. His poor clothes.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

A freshman dude asked me which were the washers and which were the dryers. I hoped I was being punked but he was serious.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

Freshman year of college I had to explain to two dudes who were hard science majors that a "table spoon" and a "tea spoon" were units of measure, not just random ass big and small spoons they randomly dug out of their kitchen drawer. They were trying to bake pie for Pi Day.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

My brother who lives across town bribed me to come over and do his laundry every weekend the first two months he lived on his own.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

I've never understood why so many boys end up at colleges unable to do laundry. The absolute last thing I would want to do for a teenage boy, son or not, (wiped his baby bum or not, willing to wait on him hand and foot or not) is handle his dirty sheets and socks. That's a step too far into a realm of TMI that I would not be interested in taking.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

I don't know why. It takes about ten minutes and a couple of tries to learn, and osmosis isn't going to cover it. Everyone at my house learned how to wash their own clothes at the very latest, twelve years old.

As soon as you were tall enough to load the machine, you could learn.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

I've never understood this either, but somehow boys (and, later, men) manage to wriggle out of learning a lot of things like that. Either they're never expected to learn it or they're such pains about it that it's easier not to expect even baseline competency from them. I know in my own household that my brothers managed to be so "bad" at everything related to cooking or cleaning that it was easier for my mom to do everything for them than it was for her to hold their hands through the process a million times.

I think that's a pretty common American cultural thing - think of all the bumbling sitcom dads from the 90s, those awful "Porn for Women" books where it's just blandly handsome guys showing basic household competency, etc.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

Who else thinks that pile of produce screams "a camera crew is coming to our house, let's buy some fruits and vegetables that make us look like adults"?

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

Tbf that's exactly what a pile of produce means in my house, except for instead of a camera crew, it's my parents.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

I wouldn't be surprised if the camera crew had a professional stager with them who added those sorts of touches.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

That seems like a bit much.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

I've always found it suspicious that I have yet to see a hockey player in one of these things who had either a completely empty or piled with junk dining room table.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

da

Maybe, but I would definitely read fic about the adventures of this hypothetical stager and the items they introduced or removed to players' dwellings before cameras rolled.