#24 – Not Sure If Serious or Playing Dumba

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This is the twenty-fourth post of Deke Dangle RPF Anon, a community for all your ice hockey anon meme needs.

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Comments

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

hockey players live on chocolate cake and pie and wouldn't recognise a nutrient

Wow, not just a ridiculous strawman but one that no one in this thread even remotely suggested. Pretty impressive. Congrats, I guess?

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

Well, we've gone as far as "confused by produce". But re-reading this thread you seem to be spoiling for a fight, so carry on I guess.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

DA

Because Gaudreau literally can't tell an eggplant and a plum apart. That is an actual thing that has really happened. I think the main point here is that any sort of fixation on players' diets is boring and probably inaccurate in fic, unless we're kinking on Gaudreau's sugar stomach aches.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

NA

Gaudreau literally can't tell an eggplant and a plum apart. That is an actual thing that has really happened.

Nonnie I require proof of this.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

http://video.flames.nhl.com/videocenter/console?id=888541

@~1:09. He is confused by many a squash, as well. Josh Jooris also considers himself something of a father figure to "the little guy," for those of you out there who are into such things.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

DA

Aside from Gaudreau's confusion over vegetables, the thing that strikes me most in that video is how impersonal all of the decorating is. Boy can you tell that a decorator did that entire place, right down to the throw pillows.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Thanks! Thank you Flames TV.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

jfc, I would feel kinda bad writing daddy kink about him because he's basically an actual child. Not because of his age or anything, but because his mom does his laundry for him and he still cuts his sandwiches into little triangles. good lord.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

...sometimes I cut sandwiches into triangles. Or, well, quarters. And I always cut burgers into quarters. It makes them less messy to eat.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

Triangles are less messy; but the laundry thing is true for too many people. (I'M LOOKING AT YOU, COLLEGE DUDES IN THE DORM HALLWAY, LOOKING CONFUSED AT THE LAUNDRY MACHINE.)

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

Who else thinks that pile of produce screams "a camera crew is coming to our house, let's buy some fruits and vegetables that make us look like adults"?

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

Tbf that's exactly what a pile of produce means in my house, except for instead of a camera crew, it's my parents.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

I wouldn't be surprised if the camera crew had a professional stager with them who added those sorts of touches.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

I would like to subscribe to your newsletter and unsubscribe to everyone else's.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

Sadly, I don't think Gaudreau is all that alone in that matter. As someone who used to work in a grocery store, people know about a dozen (being very generous here) produce items that they purchase regularly, but give them a new recipe to try or something like that and they are completely flummoxed.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

In general that sounds plausible, I do see new things I don't know in the grocery store every once in a while, but - plums?! Are plums rare in North America?

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

NA

I don't think they're that rare but I don't know if I'd recognize them if my parents hadn't bought them for me growing up (mangoes probably go in that group too). I think specifically prunes are probably more notorious.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, trust me. There's a whole lot of people out there who couldn't correctly pick out an orange and would bring you half a dozen similar items from grapefruits to limes instead. Plums and eggplants are both purple and that's probably as much as he knows about either of them.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

As a person who has confused oranges and mandarin oranges on more than one occasion, I still think confusing plums and eggplants is one level weirder...

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

That's just so alien to me. But then my reaction to seeing a produce item that I don't know what it is is usually closer to well, let's try one! And then googling what to do with it.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, you're so above a fight but you keep responding. Makes sense!

A team can employ all the nutritionists in the world and that doesn't change the fact that individual players may fall (way) more or (way) less in line with the party line and, more importantly for the purposes of this argument that you really don't seem to understand, the way you portray it in fic can very easily be stupid, gross, damaging, etc. Like, sure, I can imagine a single player somewhere out there ~wavering~ over whether to eat a slice of pizza. But that doesn't mean that putting their moral dinner crisis in your fic can't be weird or completely unwarranted, no matter what kind of nutritionist their team employs. And framing it as a war of completely healthy nutritionist-approved perfection versus all cakes and pies all the time is actually feeding right into the gross food morality that you are claiming to be against.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

"And framing it as a war of completely healthy nutritionist-approved perfection versus all cakes and pies all the time is actually feeding right into the gross food morality that you are claiming to be against."

Poor reading comprehension or deliberate misinterpretation? One can never really be sure.

(frozen comment) Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

I just don't think we should go all the way from "hockey players live on organic kale and are shocked by candy" to "hockey players live on chocolate cake and pie and wouldn't recognise a nutrient".

no u

(frozen comment) Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, saying that we shouldn't treat it like some kind of strict binary is absolutely advocating for the strict binary, well done champ.

(frozen comment) Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

The binary that no one was advocating for or even mentioning until you brought it up, well done kiddo.