#24 – Not Sure If Serious or Playing Dumba

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This is the twenty-fourth post of Deke Dangle RPF Anon, a community for all your ice hockey anon meme needs.

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Comments

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

DA

Because Gaudreau literally can't tell an eggplant and a plum apart. That is an actual thing that has really happened. I think the main point here is that any sort of fixation on players' diets is boring and probably inaccurate in fic, unless we're kinking on Gaudreau's sugar stomach aches.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

NA

Gaudreau literally can't tell an eggplant and a plum apart. That is an actual thing that has really happened.

Nonnie I require proof of this.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

http://video.flames.nhl.com/videocenter/console?id=888541

@~1:09. He is confused by many a squash, as well. Josh Jooris also considers himself something of a father figure to "the little guy," for those of you out there who are into such things.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

DA

Aside from Gaudreau's confusion over vegetables, the thing that strikes me most in that video is how impersonal all of the decorating is. Boy can you tell that a decorator did that entire place, right down to the throw pillows.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Thanks! Thank you Flames TV.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

jfc, I would feel kinda bad writing daddy kink about him because he's basically an actual child. Not because of his age or anything, but because his mom does his laundry for him and he still cuts his sandwiches into little triangles. good lord.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

...sometimes I cut sandwiches into triangles. Or, well, quarters. And I always cut burgers into quarters. It makes them less messy to eat.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

Triangles are less messy; but the laundry thing is true for too many people. (I'M LOOKING AT YOU, COLLEGE DUDES IN THE DORM HALLWAY, LOOKING CONFUSED AT THE LAUNDRY MACHINE.)

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

I had a friend who had me make his bed for the first semester before he got a hang of it. Love him dearly, but oh my god.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

da

(The washing machine says pull to start helpless dude, that's how you start it. It's not a lawnmower, there's no pull cord and it's not a car so there's no ignition. You turn the dial and pull. And then the real magic starts)

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

Freshman year of college I saw a dude in the laundry room trying to put detergent in his machine, but it was one of those ones with the little drawer for detergent so you pour it in and then close the drawer and it disappears. So he poured his detergent in, closed the drawer, opened it again, looked aghast that his detergent was gone and...poured more in. And then repeated the same process all over again. I probably saw him do it about 5 times before I had to intervene. His poor clothes.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

My brother who lives across town bribed me to come over and do his laundry every weekend the first two months he lived on his own.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

I've never understood why so many boys end up at colleges unable to do laundry. The absolute last thing I would want to do for a teenage boy, son or not, (wiped his baby bum or not, willing to wait on him hand and foot or not) is handle his dirty sheets and socks. That's a step too far into a realm of TMI that I would not be interested in taking.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

Who else thinks that pile of produce screams "a camera crew is coming to our house, let's buy some fruits and vegetables that make us look like adults"?

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

Tbf that's exactly what a pile of produce means in my house, except for instead of a camera crew, it's my parents.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

I wouldn't be surprised if the camera crew had a professional stager with them who added those sorts of touches.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

That seems like a bit much.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

I would like to subscribe to your newsletter and unsubscribe to everyone else's.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

Sadly, I don't think Gaudreau is all that alone in that matter. As someone who used to work in a grocery store, people know about a dozen (being very generous here) produce items that they purchase regularly, but give them a new recipe to try or something like that and they are completely flummoxed.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

In general that sounds plausible, I do see new things I don't know in the grocery store every once in a while, but - plums?! Are plums rare in North America?

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

NA

I don't think they're that rare but I don't know if I'd recognize them if my parents hadn't bought them for me growing up (mangoes probably go in that group too). I think specifically prunes are probably more notorious.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

Oh, trust me. There's a whole lot of people out there who couldn't correctly pick out an orange and would bring you half a dozen similar items from grapefruits to limes instead. Plums and eggplants are both purple and that's probably as much as he knows about either of them.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

As a person who has confused oranges and mandarin oranges on more than one occasion, I still think confusing plums and eggplants is one level weirder...

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

I'm pretty uneducated about produce, but I don't see how anyone who's even seen an eggplant emoji and has a vague idea of what a plum is could confuse the two.

Re: Hockey Media

[(Anonymous)]

That's just so alien to me. But then my reaction to seeing a produce item that I don't know what it is is usually closer to well, let's try one! And then googling what to do with it.